A Critic is someone not liking your brand of Koolade & explaining why.
A Hater is someone throwing your Koolade out before they taste it.
Haters often disguise themselves as critics by distorting facts to support bias.
If a critic were to detect a hater’s hypocrisy, tune out anything they have to say, then by definition you become a hater too.
There’s no Pulitzer Prize for haters.
Stay in your lane.
The media loves distilling misinformation about nutrition, female body shape, body image and exercise. It is the perfect foil for its obsession with all things celebrity. This trend has enabled the Phantom Menace, otherwise known as Gwyneth Paltrow, to make a very lucrative sideline of marketing half-baked truths under the guise of sage wisdom.
Exhibit A: GP and her business partner Tracy Anderson offer body phobic and contraindicated fitness advice to disheartened women yearning for nothing more to be skinny and admired. Their fitness colonic is not for anyone with serious weight or mobility issues. It is for the ladies under 45 who wish to be forever 21 and think nothing of paying $65 to $130 per single session for a group workout followed by a blow dry.
Exhibit B: The second wave of the Gwyneth Paltrow vanity fair has the carefree actress releasing a cook book centered around her fear of food. The pages are marinated in pseudoscience when she’s not name-dropping her lunch dates with her legion of celebrity BFF’s.
According to the NY Times: At best it makes it seem like healthy eating is strictly for the wealthy; at worst, it’s quack science for attempting to export Paltrow’s wacky elimination diet (no bell peppers, eggplant or corn? Huh?) to a populace that’s improperly nourished and financially struggling.
Her suggested diet, Yahoo! Shine calculates, would cost $300 a day, a figure obviously out of reach for the vast majority of Americans.
It is not surprising you won’t see Ms. Paltrow joining fellow celebs such Hugh Jackman and her ex-boyfriend Ben Affleck pledging to live on a $1.50 per day for poverty awareness. I am assuming it is solely because the gluten involved in the poverty diet will kill her.
Exhibit C: Team GP is targeting narcissistic moms by marketing a new line of string bikinis for little girls sold exclusively on her website.
According to Eating Disorder Specialist and Cognitive Behavioral Therapist Dr. Carol Fishbein, “This kind of sexualized children’s bikini line is not in girls’ best interest. We are sexualizing young, innocent children, before they will know how to protect themselves or be fully aware of what could be happening to them.”
What self-respecting 8-year old doesn’t need a sexy string bikini for summer camp? This is 2013, the year where shows like HBO’s Girls are cultural manifestos. Life must imitate fiction.
But what does GP think about the criticism of privilegepalooza?
“F— the haters!” she told Elle UK in 2009. “I am who I am. I can’t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.”
Therein lies the problem. Who asked her to share her lifestyle with us at all?
For the record, I met the actress-singer-writer-fitness enthusiast & invester-cook-wife-mother-celebutante-entrpreneur once and she was lovely. Imagine a world of duality where someone can be lovely and still a little misguided. Would this qualify me as a hater? If this makes me a hater than it makes Gwyneth a politician. Who but a politician can spin a well earned critique of one’s actions into hate speech.
Anecdotal evidence and folk lore is how religions are formed but this is not a scientific foundation for optimum health. The projection of celebrity bestows credibility regardless of pedigree and makes an eau de toilette of bullsh!t.
How many of Paltrow’s adoring followers will have the same access to her wealth of resources when her promises do not deliver?
Since I began writing this, the publicity machine selling Iron Man 3 joined forces with Team Paltrow and People Magazine to anoint the 40-year old vixen as the World’s Most Beautiful Woman. (Did you really think this was serendipity? It takes a team of publicists to raise a star.) Coincidentally, I saw a picture online of Gwyneth at the recent Tiffany’s party in New York. Suddenly a quote from the film Breakfast at Tiffany’s rang in my head and it all made sense.
“She’s a real phony. You know why? Because she honestly believes all this phony junk that she believes.” —O.J. Berman.